Shock Merger: Meretz Joins With UTJ
Last week there was a surprising announcement by Prime
Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Foreign Minister Avigdor Leiberman, that their
parties Likud and Yisrael Beitainu are merging.
This week, a second shocker, as Zahavah Gal-On, leader of
the left wing secular party, Meretz, joined hands with Deputy Health Minister,
Rabbi Yakov Litzman and chairman of the knesset's financial committee, Moshe
Gafni, the joint leaders of United Torah Judaism (Yahadut Hatorah).
The new joint party, called Yahadut Hameretz, is expected to
attract an astounding “one hundred” members of the Knesset in the upcoming
national elections, assuring the new party of leading the new Government.
.
The joint announcement of the merger of the extreme left
Meretz with the ultra-orthodox UTJ, surprised many.
Gal-On explained that “the central and defining principles
that unite the parties are far more dominant than any minor details of
differing philosophies”.
“Both parties are sincerely promoting the interests of the
have-nots,” explained Gal-On. “The under-privileged, the unemployed, the
under-paid. Single parents, bringing up families on impossibly low income
support, hard-working bread-earners who bring in a meager minimum wage which
cannot support their families.”
Visibly moved, Gal-On added, “And those who chose the true
torah path of a life of study and devotion.”
“Yahadut HaMeretz are the voice, for those who have no voice,”
she concluded, to enthusiastic applause.
At the joint press conference, Rabbi Litzman continued, “we
are joined together by our common desire to represent Am Yisrael, and in
particular, those who champion a larger and more supportive welfare state.
“Our colleagues in Meretz have long been our natural
partners – this union is a result of over three years of intensive discussions
and negotiations beyond the public eye.”
Moshe Gafni responded to potential critics, observing “although
this union will seem to many to be unconventional, I can assure our supporters
that this will bring far more seats in the Knesset together, than would have been possible
separately. Supporters of both UTJ and Meretz will benefit by the additional
representation.”
“From the UTJ point of view, for example, Government budgets which are
currently used for kollel stipends and were previously shared by us together
with Shas and Bayit Hayehudi, will now be exclusively used for UTJ
institutions.”
“Furthermore, both parties are unified in their policy that
the IDF should be disbanded, whether as an occupying force over Arab lands, or
because, in the absence of Tal’s Law, the army is an existential threat to
torah true Jews.
“Therefore, under the upcoming Yahadut HaMeretz Government,
of which we are confident, the National Defence Budget will be immediately
reallocated to provide cheap housing for young couples and their many - or very
few - children.
“Whether these families are Torah observant, fervently
secular, or returning Palestinian Refugees from their diaspora - Welcome one,
welcome all!” Gafni concluded, to further rapturous applause from an impressive
gathering of Gafni’s family members.
Yossi Beilin, the Yahadut HaMeretz Party Secretary,
explained to reporters how the new party will attract the political middle ground.
“Voter surveys show that if one draws a line on the
political spectrum between Meretz (currently 3 seats) on the secular left, and UTJ (currently 5 seats) on the religious
right, nearly everyone falls within the target voting public, except perhaps the
three Arab parties and the Green-Leaf Marijuana Legalisation Front.”
As such, Rabbi Beilin reports that the new party Yahadut Hameretz
will win “over one hundred seats” in the upcoming Knesset.
David,
ReplyDeleteI think you have a little too much time on your hands! :)
I'm practicing for Purim - or the next election - whichever happens first.
ReplyDeleteWhy not devote the national elections to selecting the Purim Queen and Vashti from all the contestants in the knesset elections. This should also eliminate any gender imbalance in the composition of the knesset.
ReplyDeletePlus, if there were possible patronage and policy goodies for UTJ constituents we would see how creative they could be about tznius, etc.
It's embarrassing to admit it - but you had me there for a while David!!
ReplyDeleteI understand Yahadut Hameretz will be introducing separate-gender buses that run on Shabbat.
ReplyDelete