An Englishman in Israel Responds to Iranian Nuclear Crisis





I knew this was the time to get two boxes.

Still in preview mode, the not-yet-published IAEA report on Iran is reported to include solid evidence that Iran's nuclear program goes well beyond medical research and power generation, and is actually to produce nuclear weapons. The obvious target for these is us, Israel.

Increasing probably scenarios include that Israel will soon launch a tactical attack on Iranian nuclear facilities; Iran would likely respond with massive ballistic missile bombardments on Israel; Hamas in Gaza and Hezbollah in Lebanon, perhaps even Syria, would all join in and blast us with literally tens of thousands of long range missiles. Unconventional warheads, such as gas and biological weapons are quite likely to be used. Hezbollah is planning to infiltrate the northern border and capture whole towns.

For us in Bet Shemesh, we'd be in the thick of the missile debris.

I have no influence on Israel's defence policy, much less Iran's. I'm not even in the army.

I'm an arm-chair target.

There is one response that every Englishman knows, tried and tested over centuries, for any and every apparently insurmountable crisis.

A nice cup-a-tea.

In my visit to the local corner store, I knew THIS is the time to buy two boxes of PG Tips English Tea Bags.



Comments

  1. Karen8 November 2011 at 21:43

    WHAT?! You can buy Tetley's in Bet Shemesh?! Where? I demand details!

    ReplyDelete
  2. David Morris8 November 2011 at 22:06

    Woops, Karen, you're right.
    I've checked the packet.
    They're PG Tips.
    Available at Best Market, Nahal Dolev, RBS.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karen9 November 2011 at 07:51

    Awwwww. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  4. David Morris9 November 2011 at 08:59

    I'm so sorry for the disappointment Karen.

    I'll correct the article from Tetley's to "PG Tips"; heaven forbid that other Brits should undergo that emotional roller-coaster...

    Please accept the apologies of the editorial staff and management (and tea-lady) at Tzedek-Tzedek.

    ReplyDelete
  5. J.A.M.10 November 2011 at 11:59

    Englishmen must have nerves of steel. With this kind of news, this American will join the tea party, but make it organic chamomile tea!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 17:09

    One of the best headlines the JPost ever had was when Teatly stopped importing to Israel - "Teatly Tea Leaves".

    ReplyDelete

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