So How Common IS Child Sexual Abuse in Ramat Bet Shemesh?

Background

A few months back, I was quoted in an article by Ruth Eglash in the Jerusalem Post, on the topic of sexual abuse of children in Ramat Bet Shemesh. http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1243872320108&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull

The initial quotation in the Eglash Jerusalem Post was a few lines, which I shall quote in full, as many of those who subsequently had a strong opinion on the matter, seemed not to have actually read it.

"We are a lightning rod for all sorts of problems in the community here," says David Morris, founder and chairman of Lema'an Achai, which provides among its services support and guidance for haredi parents who believe their children might have been sexually abused.

Last summer, the organization set up the "Safe-Kids" hot line in conjunction with the Beit Shemesh social welfare services to provide a lifeline to local families whose children have been abused. While the service has not been inundated with calls, Morris says there have been between five and 10 concrete reports of sexual abuse in the community - and that is just the tip of the iceberg.

"If only one in 10 children actually reports what has happened to them, and then only one in 10 parents goes on to officially report what has happened to their child, and the police or social welfare services only get around to investigating one in 10 complaints, that means there are many more cases out there that we don't get to hear about," he says.

According to Morris, the problem is concentrated in local independent schools - facilities partially funded by the Education Ministry but not supervised by it - which have failed to be supportive of parents who claim that their child has been a victim. In most of the schools, a rabbinic authority has the final say, and in many cases ends up believing the perpetrators' story over the victims', he says.

"I don't know why the community leaders chose to protect the adults over the children, but we hope that we can now start to get the word out that children have to be listened to and protected at all costs."

Morris also says that the response of the authorities such as the police and social services is slow and bureaucratic, with the accused not being found guilty or exonerated for years.

"It's a no-win situation," he continues. "Most people are greatly disappointed by the official response from both within the community and from outside."

(By the way, that's it! Do YOU see anything here controversial, or requiring retraction?).

I was subsequently 'taken to task' by Jonathan Rosenblum, in the same newspaper, apparently with the cooperation of three community rabbonim from Ramat Bet Shemesh. Only one of these was named, being Rabbi Kornfeld. http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?apage=1&cid=1244371074854&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull

I addition, I was accused of "chilul Hashem be'rabim" by one community rabbi (the Jewish equivalent to Hell-Fire & Brimstone); and another community rabbi responded by placing a cherem (ban) on fundraising in his shul for Lema'an Achai.

A few days later, an extensive report was published detailing specific cases of child sexual abuse in three schools in Ramat Bet Shemesh, in the national newspaper Haaretz: http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1093270.html

Finally, the Jerusalem Post published an article "Right of Response", by an anonymous resident of RBS, responding to the Rosenblum article, and defending my position against child abuse:

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?apage=1&cid=1245924929869&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull

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There is a lot to say on this topic, and I have refrained from saying it, preferring to wait for the initial hubbub to calm down – which I feel it now has.

While calming down is a good thing, forgetting about the issue of child abuse is not.

Thus I now see a need to respond to some of the issues which were raised in the Press and on the blogs at that time.

For the purposes of this article now, I am going to focus on the issue of the scope and scale of the child abuse problem (in bold above).

The first thing to point out, for the purpose of setting the record straight, is that Ms Eglash quoted me somewhat inaccurately in the Jerusalem Post. My actual words were "I don't know the statistics, but, for the sake of illustration, if only one of every ten kids who has been abused, actually speaks up; and only one in ten adults who have been informed by the child, actually formally report; and only one in ten cases which are reported, result in a conviction…then that means there are many more cases out there that we don't know about."

I do not think the misquotation is actually significant, because the end-result is substantively the same. For every case we know about, there are many more we do not know about.

Jonathan Rosenblum stated: Morris speculates that there is an epidemic of child abuse in Ramat Beit Shemesh based on the wild claim that every case investigated by the police represents 1,000 others not investigated.

A prominent community rabbi (who I understand to be one of the three community rabbonim Jonathan Rosenblum referred to in his article) wrote an email to his Ramat Beit Shemesh community, regarding the Eglash article: the situation is far, far from anything that would be considered "epidemic proportions" and "tip -of-the-iceberg" , which, since completely undefined , are nothing but scare words.The article also had an absurd , ridiculous , baseless , completely made-up "statistic" , that every phone call received about a problem really represents 100 incidents (I kid you not).

Given the controversy on this point, I have done some research – nothing fancy, or privileged, and well within the researching capabilities of anyone reading this article.

Here are the statistics, backed up by academic and clinical research.

One in four girls has been sexually abused by the age of 18.

One in six boys has been sexually abused by the age of 18.

These proportions are apparently pretty consistent for different countries, different cultures and different social standing.

In order to begin to comprehend these statistics, I recommend you think of four girls/women you know. One of them, statistically, has been sexually abused as a child.

Now.. ask. I mean it. Gently and supportively ask your older daughters. Ask your wife. Ask your sisters. "What do you think of the statistic that one in four women has been sexually abused by the time she reaches 18?"

You will be amazed; I was. Listen to their personal experiences, and that of their friends and family.

"It's not true," I was told. "I believe the numbers are far higher than that."

"I know what happened to my friends Sarah, Rachel, Leah, Rivka…"and the lists go on.

In Israel, the Child Protection Services in 2008 were treating 41,161 victims of child abuse. They state that, in their opinion, this represents one-in-eight of the actual abuse cases. That would be over three hundred thousand victims of child abuse in Israel.

Although a repeated refrain in some quarters (I have heard it myself, even from people in high standing) is that children "often lie about these things", the fact is that both in Israel and the USA only around 2% of reported child abuse cases are "false alarms", where the child is reporting crimes which have not been perpetrated. That's 98% real alarms.

A far larger problem than "children lying about these thing" is children not telling. For example, in a study of 116 confirmed cases of childhood sexual abuse only 11% (approx 1 in 10) victims disclosed what had happened to them without minimization or denial.

In addition to these statistics is the phenomenon of delayed reporting. "Most children do not tell until many years later". Thus the legislative move now in the USA to extend the statute of limitations for child sexual abuse from 7 years, to twenty years.

And whereas children (almost) never lie about these things, perpetrators (almost) always do. Of course they do. Think about it. If you had done something like this, would YOU ever admit it when challenged?

Even in cases where sex offenders are arrested, convicted and confess, they will still deny most of their offences. For example, in one study, 36 convicted sex offended admitted to an average of two offences each. However, after a polygraph test the average number of offenses these same offenders admitted to was one hundred and sixty five offences each.

So how does that look for Ramat Bet Shemesh?

The recent RBS cases now widely known to the public, such as in the recently published Haaretz article, statistically represent a small part of the scale of the problem. I stand by that.

Statistically, yes, Jonathan Rosenblum and those three community rabbonim, hundreds of children in Ramat Bet Shemesh have been abused. Assuming Ramat Bet Shemesh is no worse, nor no better, than any other community.

And here is some further information most of us do not know:

The largest number of sex offenders in any age group is…aged fourteen.

The most frequently reported age of the victim when the abuse began is…aged five.

So, yes, we should be concerned about our teenage kids going out late at night, and passing through unlit areas. But the fact is they are far more likely to be violated by someone in a position of trust, and when they are even younger.

The most likely child abusers are members of their family (yes, incest is a widespread phenomenon), babysitters (look again at those ages for offenders and victims), summer camp supervisors, school/university/yeshiva friends, teachers, and, yes we all know it has happened, even rabbis or priests.

Before we can begin to address appropriate programs for prevention, and for a suitable code of response to cases of child abuse, there must be an honest reckoning of the nature and extent of the problem.

Ridiculing the messenger ("absurd , ridiculous , baseless", "wild claims", "not the Alpha Omega of child abuse"..), attempting to shut him up by ostracizing & punishing (threatening Hell-Fire, and placing cherems/bans) - tragically sends a clear and dangerous message to our kids and to the community that their reports or complaints of child abuse will continue to be, as mine were on their behalf, ridiculed as "absurd","wild claims", and they will be ostracized and punished.

"Children have to feel safe to tell the truth. A child who faces rejection, shaming, guilt, anger, ridicule or disbelief will deny or rarely tell…The average child never tells…"

I kid you not.